life's a bliss...The procrastinating hardworkingist & aloof perfectionist

Standards

2007-10-08T17:08:00.000+10:00

I would like to get at least 1 HD somewhere in my transcript. Now that I am in my final semester I wonder if I would finally achieve that. Based on previous grades,
My perdition for 2007 sem1 grades: (best) D HD D D | (result) D D D C - lousy group mate
My perdition for 2007 sem2 grades: (best) D D HD D | (worst) C C D D - lousy group mate x2

Because Im grouped with a poor group mate who's standard is to just pass, overall grades are going to be affected because he is going to affect my project grades. I'm a hardworking perfectionist who put good effort in assignments which seldom get below D, I seem to do average in exams which always put my grades at D/C. The only way that im sure that I keep my D is that my hardwork is paid off in the assignments. Now that is going to be hung in a balance...the group assignments with his sections are rubbish...I had to edit almost every word.

Good reads from intelligent Singaporeans.

2007-06-09T05:58:00.000+10:00

good analysis by fellow singaporeans on current affairs.
http://intelligentsingaporean.wordpress.com/ministers-salaries/

what someone thinks of the UNSW closure in a mambo-night-out context.
http://onthereddot.com/ian/2007/05/26/random-rants-2-mambo-night-at-zouk-and-hoping-to-get-laid/

for a good laugh, listen to mrbrown podcast on UNSW :P
http://www.mrbrownshow.com/?p=893

on the other end of the spectrum...
and look at his models section, unprofessional marketing for a marketing dip holder.
www.stevenlim.net

Keep It Simple Stupid! – Driving demerit points metamorphosing into reward points system?

2007-06-01T03:59:00.000+10:00

The driving demerit points system was introduced as a finite continuum for road users with deep pockets who are unaffected by fines. Fines deters and prevents repeating offenders, however fines are not relative to individual incomes.

Introducing the demerit points system affects all road users alike, it has a psychological effect since there is a limit on accumulation of demerit points which would result in lost or suspension of license. It simplifies the process of noting repeating offences by giving a value to offences based on its severity. Drivers who don’t adhere to rules repeatedly are duly punished when these values adds up to a suspension limit (usually 24).

Reward points are given when a customer uses a particular service, it encourages customers to patronage or make use of their service more. Accumulation of reward points would allow one to redeem product or services of their choice. In order to encourage customers to store more points for better and more enticing redemptions, previous years reward points are brought forward to the current year.

Complicating the system, the driving demerit points system does something similar.
For example:
“Let ' s say you have 0 points on 1st January 2005, and you committed the offence of Failing to Put on Seat Belt. So now, you will have 3 demerit points and this will last for 1 Year. If during this 1 year you have no demerit points offence at all, your 3 demerit points will be gone on 1/1/2006. But, if during this one year, From 1/1/2005 - 1/1/2006, you committed another offence with demerit points, your very first offence will be extended for another year until 1/1/2007.”

Unforeseen circumstances occurs which results in hash decisions or urgency in the spur of the moment. Going 10km/h “a little faster” for being late, the rush to leave the car for 10mins without a parking ticket, are such examples. It is unfortunate that any minor offence would prolong the sum of demerit points.

Keep the system simple, drivers should not be punished yearly which causes depression. A start of a new year should be a clean start.

First mobile post!

2007-04-30T01:13:00.001+10:00

uploaded from my sony ericsson z610i

As you see...im doing my assignment...kinna. More photo posts in future!
(if it doesnt blow a hole in my handphone bill..but whose's paying anyway?)

2007

2007-01-13T09:24:00.000+11:00

shameless me..the blog hasnt been givin the face lift yet.
its for real. no more clubbing for me...i have seen all that i want to see and played all that i could.
2007 will be an interesting year. there's so much new possibilities to experience and old bad habits to curb. as i proceed to my new life style, and i wonder what good or bad traits i would develop. the mindset is so much different than 2004 of which i first arrived in australia. but however the outlook on life is still the same.
at least i knew i could.
at least im immune to the past evils that hunts my soul.
at least im alive.

2007 rens.

2006-12-29T06:22:00.000+11:00

2006 may be view as a blur. On hind sight there are more to 2008. so what happened to 2007? It’s a time when Rx8 was almost a reality. 2007… almost a reality. Shall all be put aside for “almost a reality?” alas. No, been there done it. But otherwise if there’s more to it, it should be exploited. Unless consensus says otherwise.

5th December..to SG

2006-11-30T05:25:00.000+11:00

5th December marks another year in melbourne.

a little dream and a little happier...

2006-11-07T04:54:00.000+11:00

In a minute dream I saw my future. [4.0]
Unlike previous dreams which where were always replays of past events.
Amazing how one dream is going to turn my life around.
4/2007 – I will be looking forward to it.

dream a little dream
im finally smiling after a long time =)

new look for next yr

2006-10-18T02:41:00.000+10:00

change of interface
regular posts
less rubbish more sense

oct:
Exams ><

nov:
more exams >< ><

dec:
blog revamp

jan:
transition complete.

sry..

2006-09-29T11:08:00.000+10:00

im sorry if i freek anyone out last nite. i had fun, we all did...a little too much pushed me over. thanks everyone for coming. thank you sarah and my housemates for taking care of me.

lil update

2006-09-20T03:20:00.000+10:00

ack im busy with assignments and my exams are earlier than others, right after sem break! Nothing been happening with my life, its all schwork and studying. Yep yep, just sch and home. if you saw me left the house at 8.4am, 8.4pm, 4.4am, its just to sch lib. I’ve not been to the city for months and I havnt been to a club at all. And its nothing to do with running away from the polic .. really. As usual there are people out there tryin to kill me so prob that’s why im ghost. Well…not as many as last yr, but there still are!

end of lil update,
big update coming.

How much is too much, how little is too little?

2006-07-29T04:21:00.000+10:00

Someone said "Nothing worth having comes easy"

The "EvoX" headlights change.

2006-07-29T04:14:00.000+10:00

"before ><"

"after =)"

a little DIY headlights change, now the car is uniquely mine. =)

die hard

2006-06-25T07:06:00.000+10:00

oh yeah...been in my blood and always been.

The internet is for pwn...? ROFL

2006-06-23T17:16:00.000+10:00

what does this sounds like to u?

2006-06-14T11:13:00.000+10:00

lol...

fate is ours to decide

2006-06-09T19:57:00.000+10:00

im omniscient with my life again. =)

handphones

2006-05-29T03:12:00.000+10:00

My bro's Nokai N80 can connect to the internet via wireless LAN! its amazing considering how did they managed to squeeze in a wireless card into the phone - and there so much it could do being connected constantly on the internet. its 3G too... so tempted to get one for myself for australia.

Flu Pandemic...who's to blame?

2006-05-20T00:58:00.000+10:00

Sam lah.
This came in a few days after he went back and leavin everyone with a flu. haha.

My Drives...(first photo post!!)

2006-05-11T00:05:00.000+10:00

Ooo...my first photo post!
My rides or "legs" in Australia. If only cars in Singapore were as cheap!

The MX6 - "Charlene"
Traits.
First love | Full of character | Alter ego.
Dream on Kel:: In a flash it looks like an RX7 - a blinding flash...

The VRX - "Pearly"
Traits.
Lover of all things Black | Attitude | Elation
::Its an EVO_X. - really. (eh hem.)

a shout out to Wenxong - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
See you guys in Singapore, or wait for me i will be back!

Kelvin is too free...

2006-04-27T22:22:00.000+10:00

im suppose to do something today!! but it didnt come!
im suppose to do something on friday but it was cancelled!
this is wasting my time and its not good...

Game on

2006-04-25T02:26:00.000+10:00

Lets play a game, but unlike most games its not about winning. Its about the objectives. How far would you go to play the game? After all, there are no rules…you only set your own. With so much to gain and little to loose, with no rules anybody can go far without coconscious. Studies have shown that most people will steal if they know they will never get caught. Therefore if there is anything…coconscious will stop your play. Otherwise would you go so far? if everyone decides on his own wont there be chaos? I cannot live life forever in a chaotic world, or rather I did promise myself that I wouldn’t live in one, or did I think that one didn’t exist? For the latter I understood that it does. that is amongst people of non-similar believes. With absolute control anyone can go crazy. That is if moral doesn’t persist. However, principles of life exist and I will slaughter anyone that doesn’t honor it. so lets start playing.

Aishite - Jap Song

2006-04-25T02:07:00.000+10:00

aishite ne motto
aishite yo, nee
hajimete nemurenakatta
imasugu ni aitai~
dakishimerareta nukumori ga
zutto zutto kienakute
anohi hajimatta koi~
imademo kawaranai
futari dake no kono toki wo
tada taisetsu ni shitai kara~~!

aishite ne. motto...
aishite yo nee. motto...
watashi dake wo mitee
aishite ne, motto...
aishite yo nee, motto~!

tada anata ga ~ suki.

dreams...

2006-04-13T02:41:00.000+10:00

I had a dream yesterday, amongst many others which were quickly forgotten the moment I wake up. Yet still remembering vaguely but knowingly that I had a dream but just couldn’t remember it.

Two huge mass of people, of which people I knew were on both sides, fighting. Strange dream.

I had a dream last week. Or rather a nightmare…

It was clear and seemed so real. Characters were of familiar faces, events played were somewhat foreseen.

There was a quarrel, very intense and lead to a near fight. Familiar faces were around me. One of them a face I cannot picture is there. (I realized that he might always be around in my bad dreams. I think this friend is my guardian angel) The quarrel ends with friends pulling us away. I walked back towards my car (white & unfamiliar make) it was smashed badly. I even looked at the undercarriage for damages, the car’s steering was sabotaged. Was it that I had defiantly parked at a “No Parking” lot or friends of whom I quarreled with did it? Which ever the reason, I wanted to steal a bolt from the next car to secure my steering arm. I decided against it as the other owner has no reason to suffer. I woke up.

duh!

2006-04-12T13:44:00.000+10:00

How silly can i get?
Trying to fill up a gas tank when its already full. -resulted in overflow of petrol ><
Spoil a birthday supprise. But she's happy anywaysz. =)

the april fool joke...that wasnt

2006-04-04T01:57:00.000+10:00

You know how some people is like, all talk and more talk. Well, I decided to pull a little joke on my friend. I said that the convertible sports car he wanted would be available to him for sale at a much lower price as the seller is really desperate to get rid of it.
Yeah…instead of “I was only joking/not serious abt the car” he said… “Let me call my dad for MONEY!!” gee…I wish I had extra spare cash in hand. Let me call God for money. okay that really sounded blasphemy. Please forgive me God. I bought a powerball ticket, lets see if I get RICH!!

I cant believe I have lots to do…though I have no sch nor work there’s always something for me to do. But that’s a GOOD thing, I rather have something to do than nothing to do. Already my calendar is being filled with stuff to do. Moreover, there so much to think about…well…that’s me I cannot rest my mind unless I can see my life 1~5 years down the road.

lonely april

2006-04-01T13:55:00.000+11:00

sam went back to sg for a month, tarn going back for 3 weeks, germac going back for 2 weeks, jiarong going back during easter.

fack!!!

i had a dream the other night...i dremt that i got a speeding fine because of the high speed airport esposide. I woke up, got the mail...(i was expecting a mail from immi) and there was a letter addressed to me. I didnt thought much about it relating to the dream. i opened it and screamed; which gave my housemate upstairs a shocked. A F$#&ing speeding fine! $131 >< thats 1 & 1/2 days of working pay! but nooo...its not for the airport...it was that time when i was returning from philip island. will another one come? choy!!! bollox! no more will be coming!

FACK!!!

Late for the airport! & end of feb/march bloggin.

2006-03-31T02:59:00.000+11:00

Traffic being as it is…congested, thus sam became late for his flight home despite my car’s effort at 150Km/h at the last leg of the journey. I hope I don’t get a speeding ticket…I may already get 1 for the return trip from Philip island. I must say…my car’s better than my dad’s old Rover 820 back than in 1999. I must make a confession, I pushed that Rover to 160Km/h on the TPE and the whole car was rattling and the engine was roaring an exhausted roar. Well, it was a trashy car than. Eniwayz…im sorry that you missed your flight.

unmotivated…

I messed up my life, I didn’t have a plan B. im unmotivated to think and carry out plan B cause I thought plan A was great. And it doesn’t help that there are mean awful ppl around who cant mind their own business and just be nice. However, I realized that the world afterall isn’t nice at all. I thought it was just the army.

Part time work that pays you $8/9 per hour simply sux. There are heaps of other jobs out there that pays $14 and above. And for the same amount of work or less…The full time job which I was offered was silly. Job scope was unlike what was expected, it is too far to travel, has toil to pay to get there. Too much cons than pros. Would love to continue working there, the money was good but its not really what I want.

Life has been routine, wake up for lunch, do my research, head for gym, dinner followed by coffee sessions. Simply love the company the coffee sessions. Nevertheless, not a day has gone by aimlessly…yet.

Everyone makes a difference

2006-03-27T22:32:00.000+11:00

I value the opinion of those that maters to me most, the rest I don’t care. Of course…if you are not part of my life, I don’t care what you say. Everyone has his/her rite to say what he/she wants. But we should never bad mouth anybody for that matter.

Kev and Sharon came to melb…and both will be leavin soon, will miss them both.

life's a drama

2006-03-26T23:39:00.000+11:00

life's a real drama, its only 2 months since i returned to melb and so much has happened.

looking forward... ::
April - Research
May - Sg | test market | p.check | IELTS
June - Sg | work
July - IB
Aug - Apply for intern.
Sept - House Search
Oct - House Search | PR approval?
Nov - Sg (3mths intern.)

IB - For my future company / possible early exit?
My future company - check for feasibility / location baised either Aust or Sg.

I am considering running my own company or working for others.

Letting true love go

2006-03-04T06:20:00.000+11:00

I guess its really not easy letting go huh?

- deleted text -

2 Tribes 2006 - a tribute

2006-02-23T05:05:00.000+11:00

2Tribes is here again! it marks a end of a chapter and a beginning of a new year. i thought last year would be my first and last, guess not!

It was during this same time when kev asked me to join him on this rave party. I was rather hesitant at first, after all the price tag was $75AUD. Geez…even zoukout ticks didn’t cost that much! To make up for it we went to crown to withdraw money. lol. nevertheless, the event was great. I made 2 new great friends…kev which I didn’t know too well then, and tarn.

Kev’s an outstanding individual who somewhat managed the impossible (to me) work, studies & play. I only had to do 2 out of the 3 and the best I could do was Distinctions. His personality reminds me of a lawyer friend of mine who I have always looked up to. Till several years ago went overseas to work. I have not seen him since.

Tarn reminds me of glynis, my best girl friend in sg who recently retired from clubbing. A fun loving girl, no other girl has brought so much fun with clubbing as glynis did. Both girls were a source of comfort when times were wearily. Of course there are other friends out there that made a difference in my life, and I havnt forgotten all of u guys (and girls)!

I signed 2 years of my life away

2006-02-21T21:55:00.000+11:00

I asked myself once again... "am i sure?" I wasnt.
Than i thought about you...
And the pen squibble to the familar strokes of my name.
Thus, giving 2 years away to you.

IN MELBOURNE

2006-02-20T14:16:00.000+11:00

Right...what am i doing here...?
I think im suppose to find work. I think so...
Or am i suppose to do my masters in business or IT??
Im confused...

( Come on kel, lets move on )

the rest of the weeks.

2006-02-06T06:46:00.000+11:00

same as week 1.

im getting real life dreams again where I get a replay (usually alterered) of what happened the same night or the night before. In order to discern reality and dreams, i find it easier to discard everything. So yes im sorry for the repeated questions because its both poor memory and dreams fault. thats only when i got too much to drink the night before. yes im peferectly sane.

tmr i will be extracting my wisdom tooth. outch. ><

Week 1 in SG !

2006-01-14T17:40:00.000+11:00

Day1
Touchdown > Velvet
Met WX,Rainer,Dan, and everyone else. lazy to name ><

Day2
Velvet > Zouk (Dave Seaman!)
Met Kev, Sharon, WX & Co. Pamie, and everyone else. lazy><

Day3
Zouk > Home??
I think i walked the dogs on this day? was it? i forgot!

Day4 its monday?
Home > Eagle's Nest (Lonie Rd)
Long time primary sch friend IZ

Day5
Eagle's Nest > Raffles Hospt.
Little baby Johnathan Chia... soooo cuteee!

Day6
I have to wear glasses to read!
Day out with Dad (he forgot i dont drink milk!?!) > Dinner with JR & YS > MoS

Day7
did lots cant remember!
Dad goes SA

Day8
Gym > Eagle's Nest

Day9 - today (SATURDAY)

2005-12-29T03:15:00.000+11:00

For that moment I wished time would hold still

I always wanted more of you, and I would have given more of myself if I had anymore to give for I have given everything.

I will continue if u want me to, if its to cease give me the reason.

Gently

to go home?

2005-12-21T11:50:00.000+11:00

i have untill christmas to decide...
if the burdern is too heavy for me to go on, i need to leave.
leave for singapore and live out my life amoungst familarity, bliss and away from it all.
i cannot stay to think of what ifs, im always thinking...i need a distraction by going back.

In life I believe, there are certain unspoken rules. Forming a queue for something, is one such example. we do so because it is the right thing to do, not because there are fines or fear of possible outlash from other public members. I have my own ethical believes, such as not impeding onto others. unless of course its my right.

“Don’t break up a happy hand” was the saying by an Aussie mate of mine. … … (there more that i want to say…im too upset to write anymore)

all i wish for christmas

2005-12-20T17:58:00.000+11:00

but first...a lil summary update.
hang out with old pals,
got exam results
-didnt get any HDs which was disappointing, (yes yes kev i know u got 1 every sem.)
mock graduation,
joined fitness first,
chill out with friends,
real graduation,
say good bye to some friends,
sister's graduation.

future etc etc...
bum,
christmas party,
new yr party,
bum somemore,
find work,
learn to cook more dishes,
go back sg?

all i wish for christmas...
a better 2006 than i precived...

It suddenly hits me

2005-11-03T01:57:00.000+11:00

i know im goin to grad this yr, but i only finally felt it today! now of all times when im freekin tryin to study. geee...see what melbourne heat wave can do to u, fry your brains! or thraw it rather. all of a sudden i felt like i havnt done enough, (or play enough) auggh...all the memors, suddendly comin back.

First year in melb. in the halls, get work done early so that can get drunk on thrudays, fridays, and saturdays. miss the fun and nonsence. dont miss the tiny room!
sigh missed all the sg mates who went back that yr.

Second yr in melb. i did say that its 1 bottle per fortnite wtf happened? ASSigments! didnt even become 1 bottle per month. how sad. sem1 was fun...had kevin around for fun and nonsence but he went back too! >< Sem2...kanna scolded by caulfield mates for not hangin with them since i came last yr kk so there are my some fun and nonscence then.

booooo....boring.....boooo....BBBBOOOOO!

something to note...dont get a car thats more than 5 yrs old! boooooo!!

thanks

2005-10-23T20:17:00.000+10:00

thanks to all my group mates, who all put in much effort to see the program through.
everyone made the initative to contribute effort, asked eachother how each of us can help one another, and everyone aimed high.

thanks, you guys and girls are superb group mates and equally superb friends.

i have no time to write my blog

2005-10-07T18:02:00.000+10:00

its isnt a real blog eniwayz.
i gotta have dinner, rush my history essay, network essay, and a user manual for next week. >.<
so in short.
i have my best shot and got crap grades.
i didnt try too hard and i got good grades.
lets see what i got for network which i didnt try hard. i guess i prob wont get good grades either cause i really wrote crap.
so, try hard and get crap grades or dont try and get crap/good grades?

its subjective to the reader. i should make him happy with a $50 bill attached to my essay.
reckon i should try? why not huh?? it would be funny, i wonder what will happen.

dinner's ready.

my mood tmr

2005-09-28T20:25:00.000+10:00

(: its all good now :)

Ah now I remembered why I kept away from you.

2005-09-26T20:02:00.000+10:00

Friends asked me why, I always say… “i dunno”. Yeah you never did anything against me so why? so talk lah, no harm. but…after talking to you…maybe im sensitive, but I didn’t feel good.
I remembered that for ppl like you I shouldn’t be too forthcoming with myself.

I believe what goes round comes round. - For the second person who made me feel fucked up that night.

I was tellin my closer friends that i had a few sad dreams the previous week, i guess dreams do come true.

(: Royal Melbourne Show :)
I won a $50 round poker chip! Its huge! I had to carry it with both hands home. J
Yeah that soft poker chip made my day, I had been depressed the whole week, and that chip cheered me up. Luckily I went on Tuesday, cause there wasn’t any during the weekend.

my mood today...

2005-09-19T16:42:00.000+10:00

depressed.
i am so afraid of the future...
guess i can change my blog title to "life's a bleak"
am i suffering a quarter life crisis?

Why am i going SSAV

2005-09-15T15:48:00.000+10:00

I have great friends.

Sometimes I rebel against myself, im a weird sort. When everyone wants something, I rather not take it. Somehow its probly how I grew up.
I remember in kindergarten there was an offering of sweets by a teacher, everyone rushed for it, I took my time and got none. Of course I was very upset. Ever since I never rushed for anything when there’s a crowd. I purposely wanted to be left out. I wanted to rebel against my own wishes. yep, that’s me, im crazy.

Why am I not going SSAV…

2005-09-14T04:05:00.000+10:00

Because im an anti-social sob bastard, and my presence wont be missed so why should I go? so there.!

but really…

I have my own reasons, its personal.
But maybe I should let it out abit,
IM CRAZY, I think that people hate me even when they don’t, right now I think a lot of people don’t like me so its better that stay away from them, thus keeping away from functions and gatherings. Than again, did i say i was crazy?
MONEY…I wouldn’t say that I have lots of it, but my mx6 thinks so, she…(btw her name is Charlene) demands me to increase my weekly offerings of burn-that-money-pile.

Friends…Support…Date…Enemies…Possible terrorist attack…

Augh, I got more to say but its turning into givin an excuse and bitching blogging…I didn’t intent it to be that way.

If you have asked Kevin or my Caulfield friends before why they didn’t go to SSAV, my reasons would probly be the same, although I didn’t ask Kevin myself. Ask me again next time personally, I could explain myself better and give insights which I cannot put up on the blog. I love all of u guys and have a great time at SSAV Ball.

Open thoughts

2005-08-31T15:30:00.000+10:00

That earlier post was for myself to read, if anyone wants to ask me about it, I will be happy to sit down and talk about it over drinks. It will not be a bitching session, but an experience to share and a story to tell.

My blog is a memento of events. I used to keep a book which I wrote details of events in my life, the more interesting ones. I therefore feared that book, it kept track of all events good and bad, mostly bad, or I would say…worst. The crazy things that I did because I was young. I could not let anyone else find that book, the day I had to go for an operation, I burn it. I feared that I may not wake up;- my room packed and book found. I went through it page by page, recalling the events and the days when I wrote it with a cigarette in my mouth.

I don’t want to burn another book again, yet I still want to remember the date when it happened, now without dates, I cannot remember witch event came first. This blog replaces that book. Knowing that its kept safe forever.
I publish some posts in the form of expression, or for whoever who wants to read my open thoughts.

This week im pissed off. I am utterly disgusted by they way things turned out. I do not hate or loath anyone about it, because it’s a waste of my time. If I do hate someone I will just ignore that person, but if that person is always around…I do what every normal person would do. Go figure. Oh yes, I was saying…I am pissed.

I am pissed abt how this whole thing came about, and how it ended. I wondered if I should have step in or be the always silent observer. University students! matured individuals! unable to play their cards right. This whole thing is like a page pulled out from the secondary school days.Friends no better than strangers. Selfish.

Its over, by next week it should be off my mind. I DO NOT dislike anybody who played apart in it. As I said earlier, I don’t care, and I don’t want any part in this.

Remember this!

2005-08-31T00:30:00.000+10:00

Remember the elections, the fight for presidency.

It confirms what I sadly suspect is true. Remember it, working life will be worst.

About it : w.(Pers)gain w.popularity w.push-for-presidency-reasons f.moral reasons discreteness event timing

Nve- : done the Singaporean way friends association planning WTF?

I don’t care who wins, both have good intentions and I don’t take sides, - if you still don’t know me yet, I have little concern for such trifles. I only seek to better myself with experience and knowledge which I can relate to. If you associate me to be on anyone’s side, move on, i don’t care. If u wanna keep tabs on such matters, please don’t let me know. I will hate u.

happy....

2005-08-29T21:04:00.000+10:00

(to be sung in tune with that "im so lonely" song)

im happy....so happy, very happy...ohhh....
im happy....so so happy, very very happy... ohhhh~!
happy....so very happy, wee~!

A metaphor

2005-08-22T17:01:00.000+10:00

A candle was given to me, i douse it with water but it kept burning. A unique candle! Hence forth let it burn. No sooner would the bearer know that one shouldn’t be playing with fire. It is such a delight to watch a flame dance and flicker, an even bigger delight for the giver to watch the receiver enjoy the flame. Happiness resides in all.
I held to the received candle because I loved the light. But the flame became a fire, the beautiful flicker became a rage, I tried to tame the fire, only to fuel its rage. Such dismay! Sadness resides in all…

End of hoildays

2005-07-17T03:56:00.000+10:00

Can it be longer!? I haven’t had enough fun yet and on the second night before im due for Melbourne I received a sudden surge of back dated SMS, 20 of them, all from friends who tried to make an appointment to met up with me! Augh! I am sorry that I couldn’t meet or replied all those who tried to make an appointment with me amidst their busy schedule, blame the damn SMS service!
Im bored of Singapore, but I will miss the cheap cab fares, cheap food, the sushi!! And my 2 lovely dogs. Of course the great company of friends. At the same time, I don’t feel like going back to study yet…maybe it’s the relishing of the ‘good old days’ talk which makes me yearn for those times, talking abt it brings back nostalgic feelings. Maybe its time to study again, that’s y I don’t wanna go back. Maybe cause Kevin isn’t around anymore. Maybe cause I haven’t meet that 20 friends who wants to meet me!!! Maybe maybe maybe.

Look on the bright side Kelvin, Melbourne is fun! Studying is better than working! (cough)

Resonance

2005-07-08T06:55:00.000+10:00

Meaningful events, subtle yet having and impact on my life.
(its 5am, im tired and tipsy, however I have to type this before bed)

Stuart’s long time ambition fulfilled; to spin at liquidroom, an event with zeal and spontaneous cheers from crowds dancing. Such happiness to see my good friend finally living his dream and I must say, it was a good spin man. See u in Melbourne end july. Been 3 years since I knew u, time flies huh… doesn’t seem like 3 years.

Hanging out with Caulfield mates reminded me that I should embrace the complexities of life and not let it slip into mere sequential repetition.

SSL I love u lots, I really do, a commitment into relationship scares me too. I hate to try because I hate to get hurt. I don’t know how to chase u, I don’t know how to impress u. im useless at such romance. However I will try with all the best I could, yet again I’m scared to try too hard, for im afraid to frighten such a sweet girl like you away.
I try hard to get you off my mind, but every time I see you, my heart and soul seeks to embrace you and the my whole world evolves around you. Nothing else matters at that moment, its all you. In a matter of fact, I love you. And all that I really want to say is, I love u.

the real exam & the car accident

2005-06-21T20:15:00.000+10:00

This is definitely the most unprepared semester of my life, I have never been so procrastinated with my studies. There somewhat no motivation to score in the exams, some how the charts that I drew up had a counter effect on me. Charts which suppose to help me achieve my goals, but it only told me that no matter how hard I may try in the exams a D will be difficult to attain. Recent exam papers were of luke-warm feeling, I felt I answered the question, but the more I think of it…I probable didn’t actually answered and only explained my answers. I dunno how to explain this…but its like, 1+1 will get me a number which is non-negative and less than 3. yeah…something like that, explaining the answer without giving the answer.
Tomorrow I will sit for a paper which I researched the year before that it will be an easy subject to pass. However with the change of lecturer, exam questions will be unlike the easy to score problem solving question but of those which require arguments and explanation. Hmm…since I have said that Im only good at explaining the answers, I guess my answers will be more appropriate in this situation. It’s a real exam tmr! It really going to test your understanding, and I don’t think I understand everything in depth enough to answer the questions.

I had a car accident last Thursday, damage is pretty bad. And to the ass that hammered my door, u are lucky that im in a fine mood that day and that there were people in the car which I don’t like to show myself lose temper. To think about it, u didn’t say a single word of apology to me. Great, I hope that the last nicest guy that u have met in the world is me.

I informed my parents abt the accident. And I forgot that my dad actually didn’t want me to get a car. Now I remembered why my car budget is so low. So he’s pissed that I got into an accident although it wasn’t my fault. Shit… if I remembered that, I would definitely screw that bugger who broke my door. So great, im going home to a pissed dad. Just great.

Misdirection

2005-06-06T05:03:00.000+10:00

Oh where is the drive and thrive of thee…? What has happened to the zest, why have I become so dull. What has happened to the goals I promised myself. if there is a need to leap forward, the time is now. I am not getting any younger. If I cannot make the change I will remain like this throughout.

Interestingly, an old friend wrote me a message, we haven’t seen each other for 2 years being physically apart in different countries. Our mental state of each other is till of that when we last knew each other. Apparently it should be ‘fun’. He still is, his’ message cracks me up. Still the same bugger as he is 2 yrs ago. However I seem to have lost my ‘fun’ touch. Its less of a hassle to get through this semester yet, somewhat im not free. I didn’t play much I didn’t study much either. The more I think of it I really wonder wtf have I been doing?

Sometime I feel like I need to make an ‘official statement’ to declare or explain my actions. Blah what ever for? I think I will scrap this idea, since when im so bothered about what others think? pfff….

If it is not understood, it will remain misunderstood. Hmm….letting others get the ‘correct message’ is not an explanation of myself but making sure fools don’t deplete me as a fool. An action done where right but conceived wrongly by some, is bad and must be informed on the correct perspective of that action. A stupid action done…well…will make one a fool if tried to be explained right. These just came off the top of my head. Amazing how blogging has some usefulness. i guess even with all the right actions im quite a misunderstood person.

double minded

2005-05-19T00:02:00.000+10:00

Its amazing how situations shape someone to be. Without studies my mind is free, sometimes it wonders too far and confuses between reality and dreams. They say that dreams are one’s sub-conscious, entities of what you desire (really?). If I had a blog a few years before, I would have written some of these dreams. I think I remember a few, but I choose not to recall too hard for after all they are just dreams.

Now that I am studying my mind is set on it. Better to let it run on studying than to let it run amok without any aim or goals. Suddenly im different, common activities, repetition, I move back a step. Strike a balance, it is the most difficult. Im on either play or study.

move up a step…sem2 or never.

>.<

2005-02-05T08:29:00.000+11:00

my fangs are drawn
life havent justify itself.
i am angry...
it takes alot to cross that line.
like a vampire, someone's blood will pay!

For 2005 !

2005-01-01T07:38:00.000+11:00

1. Quit socal smoking
2. Club less
3. Workout more
4. Score 1 HD
5. Have fun!

No big deals, i already know what i want to achive in life...these are improvements and kicking of bad habbits.

Countdown was fun :)

tired...goin to bed now...

Days when i almost died...

2004-12-28T07:12:00.000+11:00

1. When i was very young, when everything was still hazy...maybe even before i was primary 1. I saw a green man and almost crossed the road, only to be stopped by my mom. A motorbike sped past me beating the red light.
i could have died then if not for her. I remembered that day because of the strong emphasis placed on crossing roads (natually). because death was introduced to me, i knew that ppl will die...but never thought abt the effects of death (life after death?) .

2. At a young age, before i knew how to swim...God knows why...i jumped into the pool without my floats. I was saved by someone, i cant remember anything else. but i know i almost drowned.

3. In perth, a crashed car was rolling down towards me!

4. Fell ill to shingles (a rare illness caused by the reactivation of chickenpox viruses) a life threatening virus. I recovered.

5. A false ceiling crashed just just above my head when i was laying on the floor. Imagine seeing it falling towards you!

Oh no, help me...

2004-12-26T08:53:00.000+11:00

What have I done? I reopened my past and going to relive everything again. What will it be this time? A close or partial close? Omg it will set me back 2 years. Can someone advice me? Being moral upright abt these situations are hard. Especially when you do the right thing and it is wrong towards yourself.

Glynis I wish you were there and everything will be so simple. I choose but will it replay me ? somewhat it says no, but I believe that it will. What goes round comes round doesn’t it?

Selfness to own self or the happiness to others without credit. Being myself I prefer that others be happy, an expanse that I pay? Easily forgotten credit? Too much to think about. I wish happiness, thank me, bless me, don’t forget me.

The life I live sigh…. Decisions were made and I stick to it, for the first time I doubt myself. I think, being selfish sometimes works…however that goes against what I believe in life, beautiful and blissful.

simply bored! lets go liquid :p

2004-12-08T21:15:00.000+11:00

now that i have been reminded what living is about. (and i will write abt this). its time to live it up!

going out with my best friends shows me what more that there is to life...other than making money and more money...get married have kids and die.

I didnt have to ask, i saw and remembered that its not the end of the game. the reasons and drive which i had somehow fogotten returened. and when it did hit me, it felt like the feeling of finding your old lost photo alblm...delightfull... to realize why or how could i forget. maybe i was happy to find my reasons again.

rite, im bored...i think i will head down to liquid to chill no drinking tonight, there will be lots this sat haha.

if it doesnt make sense... u are rite!

2004-12-03T18:27:00.000+11:00

yep...i drink and write lolz...

what should i desire of tmr.?

2004-12-02T06:07:00.000+11:00

So that is said for all that it is there is an attribute, a niche for an exponent. Forever and ever that the world may become as such. Together that we may…fight for ourselves for the existence that we are to be and for what that we may influence others. The strength of our influence or otherwise known as aura. The self aura which influence others to bend towards us or otherwise not. What makes its such could be depicted in our genes or upbringing…I would say that it is both. An influence of both. I had never believed in destiny, it shouldn’t be an excuse to anyone’s bad reasoning. It is one self that makes his/her reasoning his moto to move on, what he lives for. If the purpose to live is gone, someone can live in internal void of emptiness…to live day by day not knowing what tmr’s purpose. That is the most dreadful moment which I do not want to experience, yet, I have everything I ever wanted and lived in internal bliss…the dreams which I had was repeating and soon cannot be differentiate for the real world. Only few understand me. Only few would listen without knowing, those are my true friends.

Ever known that you have everything and seen what you need, tmr wouldn’t be much… what is to keep your going. That will lead your to dreams which repeats your best moment. Forever living in the past, because you have no future to live.

Ever known that the future is a fantasy, that it is a world is of self dreamt thoughts of unreality. A god forbidden such, an impossible but yet desirable. Yet you ask yourself why don’t you pursue such luxury. Impossible you say but yet you dream abt it.

Every known that possibility is near yet your are afraid to achieve it? For the many years of my life, I must say…take that and try. I have hits and misses, but yet still regret. F…that regret and get on. There may not be another try, but you can laugh at yourself.

Remember that life is a bliss…it is made to be, if I can admire the every sunset like the first time, I will. But I will only remember it and want to see more, or experience more. What scares me is that…if I have seen everything that is within my capabilities. What will move me on?

Nobody will understand me, and most will hate me for what I am. That is me, that is sickening life. do not try to understand this.

no worries mate!

2004-12-02T01:31:00.000+11:00

never be lazy to get a cup! poured some chivas into my can of coke and now there's too much chivas!

Results are out, im glad to know that i cleared all my modules, its time to stop worrying and think abt giving myself a little treat. Even consider going for zoukout have fun... chillout, this will probly be my last zoukout since the age 25 is comming. and with that age coming im planing to quit bad habits. one of which, going to zouk. yep im going to zouk too oftern. i make excuses to go and rite now im thinking heh you passed everything go zouk....damit i knew there some brain wash when u go there lol.

wth im doing there writting this blog, i PASSED!! go have fun, now where is that handphone...lets see who's going to zouk today...

i am home

2004-11-25T07:06:00.000+11:00

awake, you have been asleep too long...
awake... and live life.
live life as it should be
live life as it is,
live life as it is only once...
awake,
you have been asleep,
for everyone been waiting,
for the life that you must live,
for everything that your are ment for...
awake,
you have been asleep,
part two...
the second phase,
the second mentat,
the play that last not long...
awake,
you have been asleep,
see the fun that you must have,
see the life that you once have,
see everything before its gone...
awake,
you have been asleep,
together happiness must reinge,
together money buyes it all,
together we drink...
awake,
you have been asleep,
6 months,
too long...
get up and live, failure doesnt impede u...
get on.
move and see, the future enduring, the void unspoken...forever and ever...
close this chapter
chapter three cannot finish if two doesnt.
you have seen and done it all...
the book must continue, dont stay...
close chapter two
yet i have woken,
forgive me...it must be writen, the glory once more
know yourself, and others who will share this moment. move on...

An extract taken from a japanese movie, on a plane back home.

Irritants! thou should not upset life, as a bliss I see it!

2004-11-15T03:04:00.000+11:00

Well…after much contemplating, I have decided to get my car next year. Hopefully, my grades will be nice and that would relief me of any ‘guilty’ feelings when im buying my car next year.

Im supprised to realize that ppl could irritate u without knowing that they are, they juz feel so normal doing it not realizing that at a third party perspective tt they are being such irritant.
Yes we are not perfect diplomats, but I always ensure that my words are carefully worded to make sure that my point is gotten across and without any attachment of personal feelings of upsetting nature. Sometimes my response isn’t the best of what I mean, but that is usually towards questions which are juz plain ‘uncivilized’. I could easily dodge these questions, but some persistent bastards juz want a direct reply. How I wish i could easily formulate responses like the ‘fay wong’ nature, plain dodgie, an answer without a yes or no meaning, yet still somewhat answers the question. Than again I wouldn’t make a lot of friends would i?
Aniwayz…back to the topic. Whenever I say something not pleasant accidentally or not, my best friends would tell me, of course depending on the nature of the conversation, a hostile one would definitely be one of strong hated words. It’s the normal conversations of daily life, if my empathy feels that what my friend said wasn’t appropriate, I will tell him knowing that he would better himself. They would tell me too. A simple scenario; “You shouldn’t say that, cause his father juz passed away” – “okay…I didn’t know…” or like; “You shouldn’t put down his work, after all he did his best with limited resources”
Well, those weren’t the best example, but I hope it somewhat conveys what im trying to say here.

Anyhow…2 events happened which made me to write down my thoughts. I must remember…it could happen again.

Silvia S13 buy this yr or next?

2004-11-01T18:14:00.000+11:00

Should I get that silvia S13 or not?
Damn I really like that car, with mods it can really look beautiful… the car of my dreams. That kinna of car which I visualized before coming to Melbourne, I had always dreamed of getting a car something like that, never had I expected it to be within my budget.
This year or next? ….hmm……choices to make risks to take.
Sadly, even if I did buy the S13, its too expansive to mod it. Considering that I may only drive it for only a year if I cant get PR.
Will there be many silvias for sale next yr? as cheap too?
how how? so how?

Those days

2004-10-18T01:52:00.000+10:00

When worries were few and clubbin was encapsulated with alcohol, fun, friends and more alcohol. Weekly weekend congregation of friends and best friends all out for a good time, we never got sick of each other’s jokes or lack of. There will always be an event to remember each night, someone doing something silly or outrageous. Of course with everyone being tipsy it’s no wonder why. To the dance floor we head, we danced in unison with the crowd, all with the same love, and reason for being there.
Those days,
When dressin to look good was the norm, nobody will call u a poser.
When the bartenders remembers you and your fav drink.
When a simple sry suffice when u accidentally bumped into someone dancing. (its an accident, what…? wanna fight? geez…grow up!)

I remember my friends all too many to name here. The times we had in Singapore. We had been there done that. The crazy memories, too bad that we are all over the world now studying, apart. What a crazy bunch we are.
See you guys in Singapore yr end! We only live once, play hard!

a move to blogspot

2004-09-23T14:15:00.000+10:00

old blog's at diaryland.com had a nice design which i created, its still there:
http://kelwee.diaryland.com

i will probly use the same design on blogspot when i have the time...diaryland's overcrowed,
cant post when i wanted to, furthermore...cant upload photos!